Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
New York City Etiquette, pt 1.
So there we were. Shake Shack. Ah Shake Shack, home of the one and only super delicious Shack Burger. But this was no ordinary Shake Shack experience as you can tell by the date – it’s quite cold to sit in Madison Square Park. No, this was different. This was a visit to the NEW Shake Shack on the Upper West side.
The group splits up: half get food, half will hunt for seats. I head in the direction of the cashier. There’s a short line and quickly I am ordering away, followed by the all too long ten-minute wait as my wonderful double slab of meat with special Shack Sauce is prepared. At last we head to the downstairs seating area to feast.
But wait… Our other half is still standing? We notice two tables that are finished with their meals. Ok, should just be a minute. That’s when we were told that both tables had been done since we arrived.
Alright.. I’ll just let them see that hungry people with heavy trays of food are waiting. Surely that will get em moving. But NO! Both tables continue to chat away. They glance up and quickly look away, pretending not to notice the malnourished crew withering away in the corner.
Two minutes. Five minutes. TEN fucking minutes. Come on people! There is an unwritten law that loitering is forbidden during dinner rush. You can sit and chat anywhere, but there is only one place to enjoy my now getting cold Double Shack.
Like any respectable New Yorker, I started to get obnoxious. Stares. Telling my friend “I’m freaking starving” at an unreasonably loud level. Nothing.
FINALLY two young women get up from an entirely different table get up and offer their seats to us. They had just STARTED their meal when we got down there! But I won’t complain. THANK YOU LADIES!
Dinner was amazing and yes, we sat a bit longer after we finished to chat. But you know what? There was no one waiting for a seat.
As we left, we noticed one of those original loitering tables STILL sitting there, chatting away. Seriously? GO HOME. That shit ain’t write.
The group splits up: half get food, half will hunt for seats. I head in the direction of the cashier. There’s a short line and quickly I am ordering away, followed by the all too long ten-minute wait as my wonderful double slab of meat with special Shack Sauce is prepared. At last we head to the downstairs seating area to feast.
But wait… Our other half is still standing? We notice two tables that are finished with their meals. Ok, should just be a minute. That’s when we were told that both tables had been done since we arrived.
Alright.. I’ll just let them see that hungry people with heavy trays of food are waiting. Surely that will get em moving. But NO! Both tables continue to chat away. They glance up and quickly look away, pretending not to notice the malnourished crew withering away in the corner.
Two minutes. Five minutes. TEN fucking minutes. Come on people! There is an unwritten law that loitering is forbidden during dinner rush. You can sit and chat anywhere, but there is only one place to enjoy my now getting cold Double Shack.
Like any respectable New Yorker, I started to get obnoxious. Stares. Telling my friend “I’m freaking starving” at an unreasonably loud level. Nothing.
FINALLY two young women get up from an entirely different table get up and offer their seats to us. They had just STARTED their meal when we got down there! But I won’t complain. THANK YOU LADIES!
Dinner was amazing and yes, we sat a bit longer after we finished to chat. But you know what? There was no one waiting for a seat.
As we left, we noticed one of those original loitering tables STILL sitting there, chatting away. Seriously? GO HOME. That shit ain’t write.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Have a Nice Day.
I love Bon Jovi. At least I did in 1986, the year they released Slippery When Wet. It was the golden age of Nickelodeon, and somewhere tucked between episodes of You Can’t Do That on Television, The Monkees, and Danger Mouse was a random music video program where I heard Jon Bon belting out Tommy and Gina’s story for the first time. I made my mom take me to the mall that day to buy it (thanks, Mom). Significant? Very. It was the first album I ever chose for myself.
“Livin’ on a Prayer.” “You Give Love a Bad Name.” “Wanted Dead or Alive” (my personal karaoke favorite). “Bad Medicine.” “I’ll Be There for You.” I could go on and on like they did, awesome tune after awesome fucking tune.
Then came the 90s. Sure Keep the Faith was alright. But there was a quick drop off. I’ve been a skeptic of their work from the mid-90s to present, but I figured that was just my taste. Until I went to their concert this past Tuesday.
As the kids say, WTF!? Sure Jon Bon is pretty, but stop smiling at the fucking cameras and spend some more time singing and strumming your guitar. Even worse? The guy’s fucking dancing. I swear he was doing jumping jacks on stage, not to mention I’m pretty sure he busted out a little mashed potato and swimming action. Come on man.
And the song selection. Sure there were a few classics, but way too many new poppy, happy tunes. And of course they played “Have a Nice Day.” Let’s just look at these lyrics:
When the world gets in my face,
I say, have a nice day.
Have a nice day.
Bullshit, asshole. You are from New Jersey. Anyone self-respecting Jersey guy OR girl would never tell some douche that starts shit to “have a nice day.” We punch them in the face.
Anyways, back to the show. Finally, another good (and obviously old) song - “Bad Medicine” and it fucking rocked.
“Livin’ on a Prayer.” “You Give Love a Bad Name.” “Wanted Dead or Alive” (my personal karaoke favorite). “Bad Medicine.” “I’ll Be There for You.” I could go on and on like they did, awesome tune after awesome fucking tune.
Then came the 90s. Sure Keep the Faith was alright. But there was a quick drop off. I’ve been a skeptic of their work from the mid-90s to present, but I figured that was just my taste. Until I went to their concert this past Tuesday.
As the kids say, WTF!? Sure Jon Bon is pretty, but stop smiling at the fucking cameras and spend some more time singing and strumming your guitar. Even worse? The guy’s fucking dancing. I swear he was doing jumping jacks on stage, not to mention I’m pretty sure he busted out a little mashed potato and swimming action. Come on man.
And the song selection. Sure there were a few classics, but way too many new poppy, happy tunes. And of course they played “Have a Nice Day.” Let’s just look at these lyrics:
When the world gets in my face,
I say, have a nice day.
Have a nice day.
Bullshit, asshole. You are from New Jersey. Anyone self-respecting Jersey guy OR girl would never tell some douche that starts shit to “have a nice day.” We punch them in the face.
Anyways, back to the show. Finally, another good (and obviously old) song - “Bad Medicine” and it fucking rocked.
Then it happened. Mid-tune, Jon belts out some words at the top of his vocal range that were a little tough to understand. Then he does it again. Was that… It couldn’t be… Fuck, it is. They busted into “Shout.” Yeah, that one. The one from Animal House and happy little bar mitzvahs everywhere. Seriously? Seriously?
To think these guys once shared a stage with Metallica and Anthrax. I’m not sure where it all went wrong. All I know is…
That shit ain't right.
To think these guys once shared a stage with Metallica and Anthrax. I’m not sure where it all went wrong. All I know is…
That shit ain't right.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Seriously, That Shit Ain't Right.
I've been pondering starting a blog for some time now. I like to rant, but wasn't sure what I was going to rant about. I found myself complaining about how stupid shit is and found my calling.
So, I'd like to start with the name of my blog: That Shit Ain't Write. Ooh, how clever. He used "write" instead of "right." Yeah. Well some ass already had "That Shit Ain't Right" so i had to reduce myself to a punny homonym. And that fucker hasn't made a single post since it was started in January 2006.
That shit ain't right. (perhaps my new catchy sign-off?)
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